Happy Wednesday! <33
I really like this page. I know it feels like forever (…something like, five years…) since we first got the hint of what Eris and Alex’s relationship was like way back in the second chapter, and it’s always so nice to finally circle back and get to the thing you started so long ago. When this is a whole book you can read in one go, it’s going to be SUCH a different experience to read – almost like a new story. Thanks to you all, you brave souls reading it week-by-week (or chapter-by-chapter) – you’re the OG fans, and I appreciate you!!
The game I worked on won a brace of awards this past week: the Canadian Screen Award for Best Video Game, Gayming Magazine’s Authentic Representation Award, and Best Narrative for both the Canadian Game Awards and the Canadian Indie Game Awards. I’m still smiling like a goof about it!
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TRANSCRIPT
Panel 1 (flashback; Eris is holding baby Nolan while Alex looks on from a hospital bed)
Eris, v/o: When she decided she wanted a kid, it was like a switch flipped. She didn’t want anything casual any more. But… I guess by then, I’d realized I’d fallen in love with her. I didn’t want to let her go. Her, or Nolan.
Panel 2 (flashback; Eris has her arm around Alex who is asleep with Nolan on her chest)
Eris, v/o: We all supported her deciding to go it alone. But, you know how it is. You need a lot more help to raise a baby than you realize.
Imogen, v/o: Yeah, I remember.
Panel 3 (flashback; Nolan toddling between a proud Eris and Alex, just off-panel)
Eris: Alex hated needing help. It makes her mean as hell. It was pretty much the only thing we fought about. But I loved her; I figured it was only a matter of time before she trusted me enough to believe that.
Panel 4 (flashback; Eris helping Alex load a moving van, Nolan and Kinsey in the background)
Eris: We’d been officially dating for about four years when her parents died, and she wanted to move away. And I thought… okay, now we can have this conversation. We can take the next step together. And… she didn’t want that.
I can’t wait to read the story again all in one go, but loving the weekly journey. I always look forward to the Wednesday update before I start work. Congrats on all of I was a Teenage Exocolonist’s success!!!
Me too! I’m tempted to go back to the start and read up on bits and pieces whenever we see more of something that was hinted at in the past, but I’m going to hold on until the story is finished and read it all again.
I really feel for Nolan here, she had a loving adult that she’d know all her life basically disappear out of it, along with a move to a completely new area and new school. That’s tough for a kid.
Oof this one hit hard…it’s great to finally have context for all the deep feelings that have been going on in the background. Thanks for the page 💜
Okay but now I want Alex and Eris to get back together. Or at least I’m kind of mad at Alex
I get why Alex’s friend group cape so hard for Eris, given all of this, but I think the takeaway should not be that Alex was ungrateful or didn’t realize what she had going or anything like that, but just that Alex and Eris clearly didn’t want the same thing. And that’s valid. Both can be great people, there can be love there, and there can still be a myriad of reasons why it’s not meant to be.
For one reason or another, I feel like Imogen brings something out of Alex that no one else has managed. I am definitely looking forward to seeing that explored, but I do hope Alex’s buddies eventually come to understand that she’s not the villain in her own story and back off a bit.
By complete coincidence, the Featured Article on Wikipedia today is about the book “When Megan Went Away,” which is about a child’s POV of her mother’s separation from her female partner, Megan. Painfully relevant.
This is such a heavy heart-squeeze of a page, so much finally put into context. Eris wasn’t just the Latest Girlfriend in a string of girlfriends, or someone that couldn’t handle the dynamic of dating a single parent with a kid. Eris was long-term, involved in Nolan’s life, and… I can’t help but feel like she *truly* wanted to be part of this family, Officially, not just “Mommy’s Friend” or however Alex chose to represent it if/when Nolan asked questions.
I can imagine Eris thinking that discussing moving together/marriage in such a volatile situation would be the ultimate expression of support and devotion – “I’m here for you, I want to stay with you” – but Alex might have seen it as an inappropriate Grand Romantic Gesture, something to match the Big Emotions of her parents passing away. “You’re exploiting my parents’ death to make us talk about this!” sorta thing.
This grants a whole new level of weight to Alex telling Imogen she can move in, following Jonathan getting caught. I feel like there’s not as much cognitive dissonance in Alex offering support (taking in Imogen and her family) versus accepting an offer of support (letting Eris move with her and Nolan). It’s something she had to do herself, not confront with the well-intentioned actions of a loved one.
tl;dr – Been a fan/supporter of this comic from Day 0, the depth of the writing just keeps getting better, can’t wait to own this in the form of a physical book. 🥰
I can definitely see that being Alex’s reaction, even if my knee-jerk and not especially fair reaction was to think she was being unfair (which certainly gives a little more nuance to how awful Alex’s friends have been to Imogen). My other knee-jerk reaction was to worry about the impact on Nolan, having a lifelong caregiver just disappear like that. Speaking as someone who has severed ties with an ex (with no children involved, thankfully), it was both very necessary for my mental well-being and also angrily vindictive. I wonder how much Eris hoped that her sudden absence would make Alex realize, either for her own sake or Nolan’s, that she needed Eris. If so, I guess that backfired– I haven’t picked up any clues that Nolan misses Eris or was hurt by her departure.
At any rate, it’s fascinating to see the ways in which Imogen’s and Alex’s situations were similar and wildly different. Young single moms with a romantic partner who “stepped up” and provided needed support… for a while. (Even though Jonathan is a parasitic asshole, I can’t credit him with being a clever enough manipulator to have planned to exploit Imogen from the start. He strikes me as a guy operating almost entirely on selfish instinct, telling himself he loved Imogen for as long as it made his life more convenient and dropping that idea when it no longer did.)
I am not sure *how* we will get to see Alex’s version of this – it would feel wierd for Imogen to *ask* – but…
The stances in the last panel are *not* Eris being assertive and Alex being defensive – it’s *Eris* with a set mouth and the backward lean as Alex comes into her space (to grab the potplant). That feels like a very different vibe from “Eris offering and Alex rejecting”. So I really wonder how this story goes when Eris isn’t the one telling it.
Okay, I hope you guys can follow my train of thought/ interpretation! I can understand why Eris is hurt/upset that Alex didn’t want to take their relationship to the next level! But it’s important to acknowledge that Alex was grieving the loss of her parents and the weird (abusive) relationship shed had with them when Eris popped the question. Going back to Chapter 4: “In Memoriam,” when she visits that family friend, Mrs. Abrams, we’re shown firsthand how Alex deals with trauma and her parents; she retracts, and she becomes distant, rigid, as if she’s not truly there, she does it when Mrs. Abrams praises her parents and when Nolan asks that series of questions. I’m guessing that’s the version of Alex Eris got during the conversation, the rigid woman who probably shut her out or, at the very least, wasn’t truly there. In Chapter 5, Eris makes the commitment comment, and looking back, I think the comment is logically illogical. For Eris, the relationship was romanticized, meaning she probably hyped it up in her head, most likely because Alex was inconsistent, so to justify being with her, she needed to! Alex’s unavailability was “justified” because, hey, she just had just had a baby. Time goes by, and they date, and I can still guarantee that Alex is inconsistent. Then boom, Alex’s parents die, and Alex loses, in a sense, her footing. She’s weak and vulnerable, but she was probably taught to be self-reliant and not depend on people. And Eris, well, Eris is soft and comforting, familiar, so she runs. Not because she can’t commit, but because she is committed to her parents even post-mortem. Loving means relinquishing control. It means being needy! It means admitting that Mom and Dad are wrong and that needing someone doesn’t make you weak. I think that’s why in Chapter 7, when Eiji confronts Alex about their parents’ abusive behavior and the expectations placed on them, it makes Alex so angry. Because, in a messed-up way, she still believes them, even if she can’t admit that to herself, and that’s reflected in her relationships; they all tend to be superficial, except with Imogen(my queen🥰😍😘🥰😍😘), and that’s probably due to the circumstance she’s living. (Idk thats kinda how Im seeing it.)
I love this!
Okay, I hope you guys can follow my train of thought/ interpretation! I can understand why Eris is hurt/upset that Alex didn’t want to take their relationship to the next level! But it’s important to acknowledge that Alex was grieving the loss of her parents and the weird (abusive) relationship they had when Eris popped the question. Going back to Chapter 4: “In Memoriam,” when she visits that family friend, Mrs. Abrams, we’re shown firsthand how Alex deals with trauma and her parents; she retracts, and she becomes distant, rigid as if she’s not truly there, she does it when Mrs. Abrams praises her parents and when Nolan asks that question. I’m guessing that’s the version of Alex Eris got during the conversation, the rigid woman who probably shut her out or, at the very least, wasn’t truly there. In Chapter 5, Eris makes the commitment comment, and looking back, I think the comment is logically illogical. For Eris, the relationship was romanticized, meaning she probably hyped it up in her head, most likely because Alex was inconsistent, so to justify being with her, she needed to! Alex’s unavailability was “justified” because, hey, she just had just had a baby. Time goes by, and they date, and I can still guarantee that Alex is inconsistent, withdrawn. Then boom, Alex’s parents die, and Alex loses, in a sense, her footing. She’s weak and vulnerable, but she was probably taught to be self-reliant and not depend on people. And Eris, well, Eris is soft and comforting, familiar, so she runs. Not because she can’t commit, but because she is committed to her parents even post-mortem. Loving means relinquishing control. It means being needy! It means admitting that Mom and Dad are wrong and that needing someone doesn’t make you weak. I think that’s why in Chapter 7, when Eiji confronts Alex about their parents’ abusive behavior and the expectations placed on them, it makes Alex so angry. Because, in a messed-up way, she still believes them, even if she can’t admit that to herself, and that’s reflected in her relationships; they all tend to be superficial, except with Imogen(my queen), and that’s probably due to the circumstance she’s living.
🥰🥰🥰
I like your read on it.
Doesn’t matter how much you love someone and how much you support someone, if they don’t love you back or aren’t ready to be vulnerable with you it’s not going to work out. Seems like Eris was kinda nice-guying her way in :s and imagine if you weren’t ready to commit to someone and all your friends kept telling you what a good couple you made and shipping you CONSTANTLY and never listening to you or let you work through your actual feelings or problems and made you out to be the bad guy (I am mad at Eris and all of Alex and Eris’ friends now whether it is justified textually or not).
I wonder what the significance of “blank arm – no tattoo” to “intricate design” to “blackout tattoo” change is on Eris.
Nice catch!! 👀
Oh, hell, that makes me notice I forgot Alex’s tattoo on the last panel!!
(Wonder why THAT could have jogged my memory-)